Alyssa changing inside and out.

Simakhele was upset because she wanted to be the photographer

From the very first moment my eyes met Simakhele, I fell in love.  She gave a hug that felt like forever, as if the very ground had fallen from underneath my feet and she and I were floating in the clouds of heaven. She was very happy to see Zuleika and me. She had never met us before but acknowledged our presence as if we had already been in her life. When I first arrived at Beautiful Gate I was excited and yet nervous for what was in store for my experience.  Our first visit to see Beautiful Gate before actually volunteering was quiet. Although I was aware I would be working in the medical part, I was concerned about where the children were and what time they would be arriving. When informed that the children were in school and that they returned at 2:30 p.m. leaving Zuleika and I with only a half of an hour to interact with them, I was upset. What I did not realize until later was that half of an hour was enough to be infatuated by their precious smiles and warm hearts. The first day was intense in the medical part. From 8 am to 1 pm I prepared medicine for each carriage, for every child while the second day I cleaned syringes. What was intense was not how long it took but the reality of how many pills and dosage of liquid medicine each child was taking. You see, Beautiful Gate is an orphanage but not just any ordinary orphanage; it is an orphanage for children HIV positive or “vulnerable children and families”.  Every day for the rest of these children’s’ lives they have to take medicine to ease their pain. Not only do they endure physical pain from this treacherous disease but also the mental pain of not having their parents. Having access to their portfolios, and reading their stories is what hurt the most inside. Most of them with an exception from a few were diagnosed HIV positive at innocence, from the very day they were born. Others encountered the HIV from being poor and in the streets dealing or from being molested. When I look at these children I wonder if they know not how unfortunate people may think they are, but how inspiring they are. Their sickness is not their disadvantage, it is their proof that even with it they are unstoppable and their dreams will still come true.  They may not have their biological parents with them anymore but they have multiple caring women playing the motherly roles that were taken away from them resulting in deaths from HIV or abandonment.  

 

In the medical office I worked with a wonderful Xhosa sister named Mama Masou. She is a very entertaining woman whose joy can lighten up your most depressing days. The first day, it was very hard for her to understand me. She spoke some English but at times could not interpret what I was saying. It was funny because a few times she would respond to something I asked that had no relevance to the topic I brought up. Her favorite line used was, “Yo” added with her African accent which sounded a little like the term “I” in Spanish. We always debated about how she did not know who Beyoncé was or about how “amazing” America was. The first day I met her, she said I must love living in America and that it was a place of opportunity. I would always tell her Africa is just as beautiful as America or if not more beautiful. She constantly stated how nice and peaceful it was in the states which was very surprising to me because there is so much ugly and hatred in some parts of America which through the media, limits what Africa has access to see. Without a doubt, America is great but from my experience in South Africa, I encountered a greater percentage of kind people each day than I had ever encountered in years from Americans in the states, sadly. It makes me ashamed to know America displays the country with such superiority and advertises Africa as if they are in dire need or disparity for assistance.  That alone is what makes Africans assume such inferiority. Sometimes I felt like I was being honored for being American while right in front of me these caregivers at Beautiful Gates were legends to me.  What I admire about Mama Masou is her desire to make a difference in these children’s lives. Although Mama Masou currently lives in the township Khayelitsha, which is one of the many poverty stricken neighborhoods, she makes an effort every morning to get up with whatever transportation she is lucky to receive or even if she has to walk, to make sure the children’s medicine is prepared. She is not just a sister (nurse) though she is also a mother figure to the children. Every child gets a checkup every Thursday and she records every detail about their visits in their portfolios. To have so little but give so much attention to children that aren’t even hers is beautiful.  After doing some research, I learned that the name Beautiful Gate originates from the Bible passage of Acts 3:2 referring to a temple called Beautiful according to their site  .  It was established in 1994 by a Dutch couple named Toby and Aukje Brouwer initially to help street children according to the site. What most people do not understand too, is being a Beautiful Gate is more than a job to the people working there. They have become a family who express their love freely and often as if every day was like the last day on earth. Someone who only cared about the money working at Beautiful Gate would not hug and kiss on a child that is not theirs or make sure that their face is clean after eating a meal. Someone who only cared about the money would not tell the children to have a good day at school or ask them how their day after returning from school was. The caregivers at Beautiful Gate love and nurture the children with all their might. 

My third day I volunteered at the HIV clinic Crossroads, which is where Beautiful Gate received some of their medicine.

 In 1999, according to the site Crossroads was open as a hospice in Cape Town for children dying with HIV. Crossroads is also a clinic open to people with HIV in the community. Mondays are when they treat mostly only children; however it is still open to anyone of any age. At first I was nervous entering Crossroads because I had no idea what I was about to assist with. I kept imagining the worst, assuming that I would be working with blood and that something accidentally would happen to me. The fact that I thought this way made me feel ashamed and biased as if I before meeting the patients had classified them as different or forbidden.  Every hallway I had walked through in Crossroads was over packed with families and children with HIV. I had become aware of how many people stared into my eyes as I took my hesitant steps while too looking into their eyes. In my mind I wondered, “Do they know I am American?” I could not understand what attracted their eyes to me. Instantly, after realizing my visible scrubs I understood that they were not staring at me because I was American, but instead their eyes said, “Help us”. When I arrived in the nurse’s office I was told that many patients in the waiting room would wait for hours just to be seen. There were not many staff workers but they did their best to attend to everyone.  In my mind, I wished I could do something. I wished I had the power to take away the disease but reality was evident and I could only pray. Transitioning the pharmacy part of the center which was also over packed with patients, I was able to work behind the scenes with the pharmacists where medicines were distributed. Behind the secured door to the pharmacy I met 7 dedicated workers who tended to over 100 patients with requests. They were delighted to have my help and put me right to work; given Mondays were one of their busiest days. I was given the job of sorting out the medicine never picked up by patients for whatever reason. I caught the hang of where everything needed to be placed very quickly and adapted to this process of opening a patient’s overdue package of medicine and placing the unused medicine where it belonged. Then suddenly I wondered why in the first place were the patients with HIV are not picking up their medicine. From what I know from Beautiful Gate is that the medicine patients take is necessary to have every day. Without the necessary medicine you can become very ill with symptoms of vomiting or extreme diarrhea which could ultimately result in death. So why were there so many boxes of packages of medicine designated to patients left behind? Then the answer became clear to me. Many people with HIV in South Africa come from the many townships affected with poverty. Therefore, some people did not have the insurance to cover their medical fees so they just stopped taking them aware of the effects. In other cases, some people just did not need the medicine anymore because they were forever at peace. They did not lose their battle with HIV AIDS but instead won their battle because they did not have to suffer anymore.

My uncle is HIV positive and for many years since expressing his desire to be another man has unfortunately turned many of my family members away from him. When I first found out he had HIV, I began to notice how my treatment towards him had become different. I did not treat him badly but may have made him feel contagious. When I was young, I was not aware of how one contracted HIV. I used to be afraid to hug my own uncle, a person who was still the same loving soul who looked after me as a child. Today, my action of isolating my uncle from me brings me to tears. I was oblivious and uneducated at the time.  I was never raised to hate anyone for what they are or who they love. For some members of my family, facing the reality that they may lose my uncle is what turns them away from being near. Every day I worry about him. I worry that one day I will get a phone call saying he is no longer with us. From my experience at Beautiful Gate, I realized the importance of taking advantage of the time we are given with our loved ones. It should not take a loved one being diagnosed with a deadly disease for one to realize that they should spend time with their family. Every day is a day closer to everyone’s death. Therefore, make an effort to at least call someone in your family if unable because of circumstances to visit the person. Do not make excuses now as to why you could not see a loved one because later once they are gone, you will only be in regrets.

Picture with Staff & some children): Taken from the site.

 

Beautiful Gate has made me a better person both outside but especially inside. I never felt more alive than how I feel now after volunteering with the hard working caregivers, the beautiful children and the realization that just by being there, I was making a difference. I learned to love, to care and how important it is to be a sister or caregiver. Most people could not bear to take up some of the challenges faced in these positions with the fact that it takes a lot of responsibility to care for these children. However, if everyone felt this way then in the end who would help these children? I do not feel like it was my job to help sister Mama Masou with the medicine or that it was my job to play with the children for the little time I had, but instead it was that I wanted to do those things. Beautiful Gate is partly the reason why I am motivated to make a documentary called, “I Am Aware” which I will attempt to bring awareness to HIV AIDS and Homelessness by allowing the voices of the people in three different cities to speak out against these issues. Starting with Beautiful Gate is the step to change and you can be involved too in this movement simply by projecting your voices about HIV AIDS Awareness.