Finding Me
 |
| Alyssa at Moyo, Stellenbosch |
For so long, I have been
lost. I have waited for years to figure out who I was that at times I felt I
became something I was not. I needed to see a new scene or have someone show me
how to appreciate, love and remember. People are ashamed to admit their faults
but without recognizing what is holding us back from being who we truly are; we
will never change. Sometimes fitting in is what people are most comfortable
with. I used to be like that. I never yearned to fit in but I do feel like from
some of my past experiences I played a role that I was not good at acting.
One
of the most important things I learned from Cape Town is to be you. Standing out is far more daring than fitting
in. After visiting townships or caressing children with HIV, I realized how
thankful I should be. I learned to love and look out for others. My eyes were
finally open and I could see a new world I was once unaware of. I smiled, I
cried, I laughed but most importantly, I lived. This was a new beginning and
this time I wanted to make it right.
You never realize how strong you really
are until you test your abilities. Rebelling against all odds and stereotypes created
specifically for categories relating to myself, was my way of being reborn. I
found deep within myself that there was a soul. I was alive! From the moments
in Cape Town, I wanted to make it my duty to make a difference. I knew this
person inside me was there all along, I just needed a good push. Taking back
memories to the states is wonderful but taking back a motive to be hero is even
better. I am not my friends, nor my family or even my inspirations. I am me. I
have been found and no longer do I have to play “Hide-and-Seek” with my heart.
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