Alyssa: Appreciate your house

Informal Settlement in Khayletisha

In life we are told to appreciate what we have as far as opportunities, belongings and family. What if you have nothing? What if the closest bond you have to anything is the stray, scrawny dog in the streets of the slums you reside in? What if you're working two jobs under the table to provide all of your children with one hot meal a day and still making sure that your living conditions do not affect their access to education? From my experience in Cape Town, the answer to these questions became extremely evident. When you have nothing, you appreciate everything.

Alyssa with her sisters in New York

Growing up as a kid in Far Rockaway Queens, New York my parents raised my two sisters and me in a ghetto called, “Augustina Projects.”  We later moved to Waterbury, Connecticut in search for a better environment to live in. Now I often wonder if this may have been one of the worst decisions we have ever made. Moving to Connecticut without a doubt did give us more opportunity and confidence to walk our streets but admittedly it too caused my siblings and me to be greedy, selfish and unappreciative. 

I am not ashamed to admit this because leaving New York took away my chances of struggling but having what we unfortunately most admired about Connecticut taken away, allowed me to become a better person. 

Alyssa's old house

The three residences in Waterbury which have dramatically affected me were: an apartment condominium, a house and apartment house. For many years we lived in apartment condominium which was perfect for our size family, consisting of 4 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, living room, kitchen and a huge basement. My mom always worked countless hours making sure she provided us with necessities. We still were not satisfied and always complained to my mother about buying a house. Finally, pushed to her limits my mother decided to go ahead and do a “rent to own” house. This house was huge!!!!!!!!!!! It had 8 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, living room, dining room, basement, kitchen, tremendous back/front yard and a garage. We were living the “American Dream”. But things became rough and heating the house with oil was expensive. My mom did not want to put the family in jeopardy for such a home we did not need. Our final move and current residence is in an apartment house on the first floor. I hated this apartment and my mother knew that since we pulled up to it with U-Haul truck. It was ugly and secluded. I used to tell her, “Why are you making us suffer living here?!”

Some homes in Khayelitsha

Little did I know I had no clue as to what “suffering” was until I saw a township in Cape Town. The visit opened my uneducated eyes to homes I was not aware existed. Something I despise in America is like paradise to some people in Africa. I instantly felt ashamed of all the comments I made towards my mother about our residence in Connecticut.When I felt cold in my room in Cape Town, I wondered how cold people of Khayletisha were feeling. When it stormed at one point during the visit requiring some to leave the homes they built from scratch and and even resulting in some deaths, I wondered about the storms in Connecticut. I wondered about how lucky I truly was and from that very moment I was appreciative. 

Every day while in Cape Town, the townships were on my mind. Every time we passed one, even if I saw it a thousand times, I could not stop looking, wondering what I could do to help.

Within only a week, this was my response to my introduction of Khayelitsha:

Something terribly is wrong, so wrong that the depth has caused me to think more and sleep less. What does it really mean to live happy? I wonder if this trip for me has become a life changing experience within only a week. I am afraid of ever losing this feeling I have now while in Cape Town: the feeling of fear. I fear that another child will walk the streets of Khayelitsha with no shoes or that another man dressed in rags will sleep outside cold again near the robots will a “Please Help” sign being ignored by every passerby and drivers on the street. I fear that when I go back to the “land of the free and the home of the brave” people in South Africa will remain enslaved by poverty and HIV. I fear that this will be only be an “experience” without change, something I do not want. Beyond the “poor” people with “poor” health and “poorly” built shacks lies something however we cannot see; happiness. Khayelitsha has a community bond like no other American community. Children with little linen wake up every morning being sure their uniform is neatly pressed and walk miles just for an education that some Americans take for granted. We don’t see the smiles on the faces of the families or workers of the community’s support team such shoe repairs or hair salons creating a place where people can be comfortable. We are blind to the happiness of Khayelitsha because we come from a place where “struggling” to us was like heaven in their eyes. In connection, Mandla (one of the workers at Treatment Action Campaign who took time to talk to us about the work they do) emphasized how there are the “two worlds” in Africa, explaining, “White people are living in Heaven in Rondebosch (one of the Southern Suburbs were students stayed) while we in Khayelitsha are living in hell.” Even through this is tragic however, a “frown” in this township still does not exist. Some of us still do not understand the cycle of struggling or of fighting for what you feel strongly about. But Mandla also explained to us, “The people of Khayelitsha are neither hopeless nor helpless; we are overcoming!”