Maeve's CPT family

We all know how important family is. For most people that means parents who take care of them and people to love them. But the family that’s foremost in my mind right now is my Cape Town family and Homies for Life. The ten of us are experiencing South Africa together but how can we share the experience if we don’t really know each other? As we head into the third week, I think we’re at a point where we were set into our spots and how we saw each other. So with discussion about our homestay over the weekend and race and privilege in class today, I thought I’d ask the group to do an activity that I did in my peer leadership class during the semester. It’s presented as a card game similar to Go Fish but then there’s a twist: the leader reads off requirements for cards which tell each person to either take a card from the middle pile or put one back. The card game is a metaphor for life and the hand you’re dealt when it comes to society and privilege but it was also a way for our family to bond and really get to know where we come from. We’ve been living together for 18 days and we’ve been discussing our experiences but it’s all that much clearer once you know where your family comes from. For some members of my new family, the lives we’re seeing here aren’t all that different from home. What happens in family discussion stays in family discussion but I feel like I have a better understanding of not only my situation but that of my brother and sisters as well which helps me to understand their experiences and their reflections in class. I feel closer to my housemates than ever before and it’s going to be that much harder to leave at the end of the trip (especially with Eddie going to a different country). As much as this trip is about South Africa and the history here, it’s important that we get to know each other and find connections to our lives and learn ways that it connects to situations different than ours within the US. One of the most important conclusions after our discussion was that race really is skin deep. Whether you’re white, black, Jamaican, English, Puerto Rican, Colombian, Irish or whatever society defines you as, we all have hard times in our lives and we all need family, of any variety, to support us. I’ve grown up with privilege but that by no means says that my life has been a cake walk. And just because someone of a different race or ethnicity didn’t have it as easy as me doesn’t mean they’re miserable with what they were dealt in life. All we can do is make the most of what we’re given and be open to helping others with their problems. I told my Cape Town family things I haven’t told friends at home because I felt that comfortable and loved by the sisters and brother in that room. These next two weeks together feel like a whole new start because we’re free to really be ourselves and we’ve opened up to each other in ways some of us never have before. I love my family and we really are homies for life.

One big happy Cape Town Study Abroad Family:
Deborah, Alyssa, Leslie, Maeve, Zuleika, Chivell, Cynthia, Cindy, Daniella, & Eddie

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Hand You’re Dealt Activity

The premise of this activity is that you will be playing a card game, but you must first read some requirements to determine how many cards each player starts with:

1.     Start by saying you will be playing Go Fish or some other card game where the goal is to get rid of all your cards.

2.     Deal out cards equally, leaving any leftover cards in a pile in the middle.

3.     Start reading card requirements (see below)

a.     If someone runs out of cards before you finish the requirements, he/she has already won the game before even playing it.

Requirements

Put a card back if:

1.     Your father finished college

2.     Your mother finished college

3.     You were read children’s books by a parent when you were growing up

Take a card if:

1.     You are not a white male

2.     You attended grade school with people you felt were very unlike yourself

3.     You grew up in an urban setting

Put a card back if:

1.     You ever had lessons of any kind as a child or a teen (music, dance, etc.)

2.     You had a credit card with your name on it before college

Take a card if:

1.     Your family does not have health insurance

2.     You were born outside the US

3.     You don’t own a car

Put a card back if:

1.     You had or will have less than $5000 in student loans when you graduate

2.     You went to a summer camp

3.     You had a private tutor for school

4.     You have been to Europe more than once as a child or teen

Take a card if:

1.     You did not have a computer at home when you were growing up

2.     You or your family has ever received any type of social welfare support

3.     You have ever shopped for second hand clothes

4.     The furniture in your house was bought second hand

Put a card back if:

1.     Your family vacations involved staying in hotels rather than at a relative’s homes

2.     All of your clothing has been new

3.     You had a phone in your room when you were growing up

Take a card if:

1.     You or your family have ever had utilities forcibly turned off (such as not paying a bill on time)

2.     You grew up in a household without both parents

3.     Your guardian was ever someone other than your parents

Put a card back if:

1.     Your parents owned their own house or apartment when you were a child or teen

2.     You had your own room as a child or teen

3.     You participated in an SAT/ACT prep course

4.     You had your own cell phone in high school

Take a card if:

1.     You or your parents rent your home/apartment/condo

2.     You worried about your safety in your neighborhood growing up

Put a card back if:

1.     You had your own tv as a child or teen

2.     You opened a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college

3.     You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

Post-Game Discussion Questions

1.     How do you feel about the number of cards you have? Does it accurately match your position in society?

2.     Did you notice when others were taking/dropping cards?

3.     What does it feel like to have few/no cards? A lot of cards?

4.     Discuss qualifications for taking/putting back cards:

Paul Newman: “I want to acknowledge luck; the chance of it, the benevolence of it, and the brutality of it in the lives of others, made especially savage for children because they may not be allowed the good fortune of a lifetime to correct it.”